Gay Boyfriend
by Roxius
Summary: Short oneshot fic 10 years after MGS4. Features JohnXSunny, and very random crack in the end. Mainly just for humor. John is Raiden's son seen at the end of MGS4, for anyone who doesn't know. PLease R & R! Warning: Fatman appears at one point!


_Aboard the Nomad (Otacon's plane from MGS4)..._

Sunny, now 17, was busy working on the Metal Gear Mk. IV when Little John, who wasn't exactly a child anymore either at the age of 14, walked into the room, plopped down on the couch, and groaned, "Goddammit...I'm soooo bored...I can't take any more of my stupid dad's stupid sword lessons anymore...I would rather use a gun anyways..."

Sunny took off the googles she was wearing and glared furiously at her male friend. "Hey, Raiden isn't stupid, and neither is fighting with a sword! When we first met at Snake's funeral, you promised you would always protect me, right? How can you do that if you don't even know how to use something simple like a sword?"

"Protect you? Do you actually think using some shitty little 'promise' I made up to stop you from crying back when we were just kids is gonna make me feel guilty? I thought you were supposed to be a genius!" John snapped. Both Sunny and John glared at each other for a while, but then Otacon walked into the room and interrupted them.

Flashing a dangerous look at John, Otacon said rather calmly, "Hello, John. I heard you two yelling in here and decided to come and investigate. If I find out you've been sexually abusing my daughter, I'll-"

Sunny quickly cut Otacon off by exclaiming, "Uncle Hal, shut up before you say anything you'll regret! We weren't doing anything, okay?"

Ignoring the fear he had just placed in John's heart, Otacon chuckled heartily and replied, "C'mon, Sunny, you don't need to call me 'Uncle' anymore. Not only am I not your real uncle, but I adopted you, remember? Besides, I like being called 'daddy'...makes me feel young!"

'What a loon!' John thought, rolling his eyes, as Otacon spoke to Sunny a few more seconds before leaving for some "important business". As he opened the door to go, however, Otacon took one last look at John and hissed, "I'll be watching you, punk..."

Once Otacon was out of earshot, John cried, "Damn, Sunny, your dad really scares me sometimes! What the hell does he do for a living anyway? He looks kind of like a hobo...with that beard growing in and all..."

Sunny kicked John in the head and shouted, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ASS! UNCLE HAL - I MEAN, MY DADDY IS NOT A HOBO! He's trying to make the world a better, safer place with his inventions!"

Rubbing the new bruise on his forehead, John remarked, "Damn...you get really pissed off sometimes...is this what they call PMS...?"

Sunny lifted her wrench to prepare to smack him, but she soon stopped herself and sighed. "John, listen...I want you to tell me something...let's forget about my father for a moment and talk about yours...why do you seem to resent him so much now? He was all you ever talked about when we were kids..."

John's face fell and his attitude quickly turned sour. "My dad...I don't want to be unpopular with the fans like he was when he first appeared in MGS 2...I won't grow up to be like him!"

'Too late for that!' Sunny thought, rolling her eyes when John wasn't looking.

"But...you still like me, right?" John asked hopefully.

Sunny chuckled and kissed John lightly on the cheek. "Yeah, I still like you...my own little gay boyfriend..."

John froze for a few seconds before exclaiming, "...YOU'VE BEEN WRITING YAOI FANFICTION ABOUT ME AGAIN, HAVEN'T YOU? I'M NTO GAY, DAMMIT!"

"WELL...MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T ACT LIKE SUCH A FAGGOT...!"

"GODDAMN YOU, SUNNY! YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THAT SONG TOO, RIGHT?"

"GAY BOYFRIEND...GAY BOYFRIEND..."

"YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Meanwhile, Otacon, Raiden and Rosemary were all listening in to the conversation from the other side of the door. Their cover was nearly blown when Rosemary suddenly farted (which Raiden found attractive for some reason), forcing them to crawl under a cardboard box. Too bad for Otacon he was now too busy being all espionage-y to hear Sunny and John were now "angrily" making out...

* * *

In the underworld, Liquid Snake, Solidus and Fatman(?) were busy playing cards. While smoking on a filtered cigar, Liquid remarked, "You know...I watched TV last night, and I saw this show featuring two 10-year-old girls sharing the same bed!"

Solidus and Fatman before gave Liquid dirty looks before muttering things under their breath about "pedophiles" and "deranged loop-de-loops".

Liquid shrugged and said, "Hey, I take what I can get, sistas!"

"LAUGH, AND GROW FAT!"

"STFU!"

"...!"


End file.
